Sunday, September 18, 2005 ♥
This is a pretty sad entry to me... So dun read if u dun wanna be burdened with my troubles... But if u wanna share my troubles, console me or give me advice, u can read on...
Juz had dinner with my relatives from my mother's side... During the dinner, my cousin had a slight dispute with one of my aunties... I felt tt my cousin was so cool... She is reli my idol... U may think i'm crazy, standing up for a person tt had no respect for the elder... But it's cuz sometimes i cant stand tt auntie too... However, i'm juz a timid girl who dun dare to express wad she feels to her elders... Coward huh?
My mind was kind of pre-occupied during the ride home... Was thinking abt some things... Tt cousin of mine used to be very close with me when we were young... We used to play together at my grandma's house n oso stayed over at the house of another auntie of mine... Those were the days... The happy moments together... I cant rmb when we started drifting apart... It seemed to happen so naturally... Probably cuz we were all growing up... Everything juz changed... We only did the norms of saying "hi" n "bye" now... It's juz so sad... I will really wan to salvage the situation... I noe salvage is a word too strong to be used but i cant think of a better word... I'm a person who values n treasures kinship n i feel tt it is reli a shame if my cousin n i continue to act in this way... But i have reli no idea wad to do... Moreover, it may be a wishful thinking on my part... She may be more comfortable this way...
I seemed to have change mentally... I started thinking much more now... I started to treasure more abt my family n ppl around me... I din noe my bro was feeling depressed some time back... He din appear to be depressed, unless wad he blogged was fake... In the same context as my cousin, my bro n i were very close too... Sad to say, we were no longer tt close now... But i juz wanna tell my bro now tt i can be his listening ear too... How i wish i can tell him tt... But i cant... I'm a person who finds it hard to express her concern to others... Tt's y i may appear not to care but actually, i DO care... Maybe it's cuz of the trouble in expressing myself tt caused the state of my cousin n i to be in... It probably applies to my bro n i too... Gosh... Wad a mess i'm in...
listened to the sweet sound @ 2:46 PM